Alison Hennessee is a staff editor at RTC. This position requires her to write a long-ish bio of herself to go on the website, but Alison recently discovered that she is actually incapable of writing bio blurbs with any shred of seriousness. She looked over bios she has had to write in the past, and they are all ridiculous, just completely absurd. Then again, so is Alison. So here, for your reading pleasure, are excerpts from Alison’s biographical greatest hits.
College Literary Event Program, 2005: Alison Hennessee is deranged but so so playful.
Writer’s Festival Magazine, 2007: Alison Henenssee has a dog who barks at Yoplait yogurt containers and a rabbit who ate half a tube of Neosporin, but seems none the worse for it, just more antibacterial. She used to have a snake named Houdini, but the snake was given to a new family who changed his name to Puddintater.
Introduction Assigned for Class, 2008: Alison Hennessee has six pairs of Halloween socks, three pairs of Valentine’s Day socks, two pairs of Christmas socks, and two pairs of Easter socks. She has zero pairs of Thanksgiving socks, an unfortunate fact that has just now come to her attention.
Literary Journal, 2010: Alison Hennesse likes bowtie pasta and a good back scratch. She wonders about the difference between paddle boats and pedal boats or if there even is one. And for the record, she did pee in the potted plant at Security Mall when she was seven. That was her cousin.