I was watching the Jim Carrey movie, ‘Yes, Man’, and it really got me thinking… At one point in my life I was very much a ‘Yes, Girl.’
It was so important to me that I be thought of as ‘nice’ that I would say ‘yes’ to almost anything I was asked. Once I said ‘yes’ I would almost always mentally kick myself because I really wished that I had said ‘no.’
I always kept my word…yet that would often result in putting my own needs aside in order to take care of the needs, wants, or desires of someone else.
I often wished for a way to say ‘no’ in a nice way.
One day, I got my wish. I made a request of someone else…and they replied with: ‘Thank you, but that doesn’t work for me.’
I loved that answer!
No explanations, no excuses, no apologies… just a clear, complete, and polite response that she would not be able to accept my request.
I began practicing using this answer and I found that it works perfectly every time. I now use this response whenever I am asked to do something that will take me further away from achieving my personal goals with velocity and ease and I have taught this statement to all of my clients…who have also used it with great success.
In 1,000+ Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently the authors state, “the minute you stop overwhelming your mind with caring about what everyone else thinks, and start doing what you feel in your heart is right, is the minute you will finally feel freedom and peace of mind. In fact, you can end half your troubles immediately by no longer permitting people to tell you what you want. You have to put your life in your own hands. Others may be able hold your happiness hostage temporarily, but only you can do it permanently.
So, if you find yourself constantly saying ‘yes’ to others when you really want to say ‘no,’ then I encourage you to practice saying, ‘Thank you, but that doesn’t work for me.’
Of course… only if that works for you!
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